Love Is The Real bliss

The following is an excerpt from my book I AM NOT NITIN. This is actually my love story which I mentioned in the book. So, friends enjoy the story and comment your views.

"Love is the cause. Nothing less than love can satisfy you; as Jesus said, "God is love".

I remember:

My love, my first love, who is luckily my wife now - I remember the day when I saw her photograph for the first time. In India most of the marriages are arranged, love marriages are rare. It isn’t that I didn’t come in contact with other girls, but I wasn’t much interested in

girls, as a good career was my only goal. But after getting the right job, getting confident enough that I could now afford a marriage, I decided finally, to marry. For the purpose, I gave an advertisement in a newspaper, so the right person could approach us.

So many photographs were sent to me, but on seeing that particular photo, I was so pleased and felt a great love, which I had never felt for any other girl; I would say it was love even before first sight because till that time I had not even seen the girl. From that photograph, my journey of love life started and for the first time, I felt the bliss which I never felt before.

The photograph was of a simple girl, without much makeup, but beautiful.

What can be said about love? It happens, and when it happens, nothing can be done. Sometimes, I listen to people, say, “love your work, love your brother, and love your village, love this and that.” But, I am sorry, love cannot be forced. It happens, helplessly, and you cannot do anything about this. You become helpless and that is the sign of love. You fall away, as if only the other exist, you don't.

And that was happening with me. Only one photograph existed; I was in love with the photograph. Whenever I got the chance, I tried to see the photo.

Now, my father and the family were busy in choosing from the photos, which of the girls I should meet at first. But my emphasis was wholly on how to meet the girl I had chosen or, you can say I was in love with! So, every time I was asked, I took her photo and tried to convince that she and her family seemed to be the best.

I am telling you my arranged love story. That may seem a joke to you but that is true.

So, finally we all decided a date to meet her and her family. I was really excited or you could say most excited, I had taken half day leave for the purpose, of trying to be ready as best as possible, for me. Because, I was not that handsome-guy; so, there was also the possibility of my rejection, though I tried my best.

Reaching her house and feeling both - excited and nervous, I met her parents and brother who greeted us first. We entered the house, in the drawing room and sat on the seats offered. Formal talking was going between us, but, inside I was waiting, only to meet my girl whom I had started loving; by just seeing her photo.

And, that is why I was so nervous. Love always makes you nervous, but, that nervousness is also beautiful. I was nervous, because of the shift of attention from myself, to the other, whom I started loving; now the center of your attention is my lover not me.

That is love, ‘You feel nervous, because now you want to impress him or her. You feel nervous because now you want to see a fulfillment in his or her eyes. But, that very nervousness fills you with bliss’.

Love is bliss in itself. It shifts your attention, from yours to the other you love. You lose your identity to some extent. And this loss of identity with your body,

with your thoughts makes the experience of love a blissful experience. Try to understand this.

I was nervous because, I was going to meet, to see my love for the first time. Everybody was busy talking, but, my eyes were searching for my love. Finally she appeared in a yellow sari – a good looking girl, 5'5", a good height, with sharp features; she was looking gorgeous.

She came and sat in front of us, after wishing Namaste, to all of us. In India the meeting like this is quite similar to a job interview, as if a girl is going to attend an interview for a job and her whole life depends on this. So, normally this type of meetings is tension for the girls also.

But, I was looking at her as if I had been waiting for her, for many years. Love is always like that. I have felt the nervousness she was going through. So, I have decided not to talk to her at that time and in this manner tried to reduce her tensions. This was my first acquaintance of her and for me that was enough. More than enough! Because, when you love somebody, everything else other than love, becomes worthless.

Love is like the flowering of a rose. A rose in flowering doesn't know who you are, a sinner, or a saint.

Whomsoever you are, it is going to grip you with its fragrance.

That is why talking to her and trying to know about her history or nature or idols etc. seemed useless affair to me. I was mentally prepared to accept this proposal of marriage.

Love is like this. If you start loving a person then you can never think about his or her characteristics; you cannot. You are helpless; you just love, that is all.

So, we said nothing in that meeting. But everybody else was talking with each other. After, talks with tea and snacks, we decided to depart, and promised to answer after a little bit of discussion at home.

That is how marriages are generally fixed in India.

So, we reached home and every one of us is quite satisfied and as far as I was concerned, I was more than ready.

So, next day we gave our positive answer. And the answer was yes from that side also. So the marriage was fixed. The date of marriage was decided later on, with the consent of both sides and for that we had to wait for

six months. So, I and my girl had six months’ time, to be in romance without marriage.

Really, those days were most beautiful days in our life. Got the approval for marriage and hence freedom for dates or talks.

That was an approval for me to talk with my beloved; at least on the phone. The phone was a comfortable medium, because it was not always possible to meet. I was doing my job and she was also busy at home. There were many other reasons we could not make a date. It was an arranged marriage we needed over time to develop trust. That was the reason mobile phones could do the best job.

But, it took me approximately a week’s time before I was able to make my first call. I was hesitating to call her because; I didn't know her interest and nature.

Finally, I made a call. Her mother picked up the phone.

"Hello! I am Nitin! How are you?" I said

"Fine! How are you?" she asked

I said, "Very fine"

"You want to talk to Akanksha?" She replied.

And from here, a new journey started, of love, of romance, of togetherness, of fear, of courage…………………

If love is real, it includes all, every emotion. But love is bigger than all those emotions.

Her mother delivered phone to Akanksha.

For the first time I listened to her honey dipped voice.

Her voice was as beautiful as her looks.

"Hellooo! Wow, it is you. I am so happy!" she said

She must be happy finally, that, at least I had called her; after a long gap. A girl of this twenty first century cannot bear such a long gap. She must be thinking about me that this guy is definitely a shy person otherwise what was preventing him from talking before?

Anyways, I said, “Oh! Hi, how are you?"

"I am also happy that I am talking to you." I replied

But, it was not only a matter of talking seriously. When you are in love your whole personality speaks by itself; your voice, your way of talking, every aspect of your personality become a sign of love. Obviously, our love was also reflecting. Love is the most beautiful experience in this world. It seems to be coming from a different world, which is unknown but beautiful. Love always remains unknown. The more you feel you know it, the more unknown it becomes. We were passing through that experience, called love.

I was ecstatic, because I was thinking of her all the time and she was thinking of me all the time. No other

thought remained. My mind was full of her and her mind was full of me. No space remained for tensions, for worries.

"I was thinking only of you" she replied

The voice was showing her love, her joy.

"Really!" I replied

I was very happy with her answer.

"Why have you taken so much of a time, calling me?" She asked.

"Oh! Nothing, I was somewhat hesitating. That is all." I said.

"Hesitating, For what? What are you saying? I started thinking that I was going to marry a very traditional typical Indian boy, who is too shy to talk with girls." she said with some complaint.

"I am sorry, but, I was just not able to judge, whether you would like it or not." I said

"Okay! Forget it, how are you now?" she said.

"I am fine." I said

Whatever we said to each other was immaterial; talking with her made me feel blissful. That was the beginning, of the experience of love. After that first talk, we started talking daily approximately eighteen hours a day. The experience was fabulous. And, those days were to remain unforgettable for the rest of our life. I cannot go into the whole talk between us; because I could write

two or three novels on that. But, I described it only to make you understand that the experience of love is great and beautiful.

During that period, before marriage we talked so much, as if every moment of our life was for talk. There was no other source, so that we can remain in touch twenty four hours. And we wanted to remain in touch forever; this is also the feeling up until now, after six years of marriage.

Love gives you freedom. If it is real it gives you freedom. It is not bondage, as most of the people make it out to be. On the contrary, it is freedom.

And, when I say freedom, I mean love frees you from your thoughts; from your thoughts that you are this body and mind.

But, how it frees you from your body and mind is the question.

Gurdjieff said, “Identification is the only sin."

All your sorrow, your problems arise because, you identify yourself as your body or your mind. And, anything which shifts your attention from your body and mind gives you pleasure; fills you with delight, fills you with bliss."

SO, FRIENDS IF YOU WANT TO READ THE BOOK FOLLOWING ARE THE LINKS -

INDIA 

http://bit.ly/Imnn_k

USA

http://bit.ly/imnnk_usa

ALSO AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK FORMATS AND AT SMASHWORDS, KOBO, & OTHER POPULAR CHANNELS.

To connect with the author-

Author's Amazon page-

bit.ly/am_nitin_page 

Author's smashwords page

bit.ly/sm_nitin_page

Twitter-

@nitinsri982

Facebook-

http://bit.ly/fb_author